Sunday, June 19, 2011

A camping we will go, a camping we will go....high ho the dairy-o...

Well chickadees, we have joined the ranks of true suburbanites...we purchased a camper.  Dave had a conference in Portland last which Ella and I were going to attend with him.  The night before we left, he announced that we were buying a camper in Canon Beach.  Woo hoo!  Even though I'm extremely high maintenance, this whole thing was my idea as I thought "ooo how much fun to redecorate a camper all cute!".  Perhaps not the reason to purchase a large box on wheels you live in with a toddler.  Oh well, onto the decorating! Stay tuned!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Crafty Mama:A French Bakery for my mini muffin

Sooo, I had some time on my hands between 3 and 5 am the other night and decided to make a French Bakery for my toddler.  I was inspired by a piece of furniture I found at a Thrift shop for $17.  I really can't say no to any piece of wood furniture under $20.

Here's the pic of it before:

Now of course you think that I'm about to tell you to make sure to prime it before painting, however, I feel priming is over rated..much easier to just make yourself crazy and slap on like 7 coats of paint. 

Next step, slap on seven coats of paint ( it). Then we can paint on your strawberries (or any image you like really).  I just downloaded a template for strawberries and just put them where I liked.

When using a template, you just basically trace over the image on tracing paper, then rub the other side with your finger to rub off the image on the furniture.  It being about 3:45am and all, this sadly actually took me some time to figure out how to do....

Paint your little heart out....

I did up some "accessories" for it which I'll show you how to do in another post....ridic easy.

A "Ferme" and "Ouvre" sign is crucial!

VOILA, La Petite Patisserie....sooooo cute!  Ella loves it.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Emails from Ella #3

June 23, 2009

Hello everybody,
Whoopie!  I'm 7 weeks old already!  It's been a pretty exciting week so far...i had a massive poop explosion all over Mommy which was pretty funny.  Who knew I could aim poop straight out at my target!   For Father's Day I told daddy he was my favorite (i told Mommy that on saturday and told them both not to tell the other...sneeky). 

This week, I shocked the fashion world with my new pink fuzzy bunny slippers...what a look!  I'm the Bomb.  I really am.  Mommy sometimes talks in high voice to me so i've coveted it for certain times such as morning noon and night.  Anyway, I must be going, Mommy is starting to doze off and that just won't work for me so I need to exercise my lungs with my new high voice technique. 
Ella signing teee daaaa

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Stories from a Type A Neurotic Mama: the Wiggles

Cartoons are freaking me out...Ella has been sick now for 3 days and all she wants to do is cuddle and watch cartoons. we go. Being a newish Mommy who hasn't watched cartoons since she was a little girl( and at that time it was The Schmoo, smurfs and Scooby Doo...I know...oooo  sooo racy) was not prepared for what I was about to see.

We started the morning with Olivia...a pig who walks on 2 hooves, wears socks and a red dress...immediate creep out.  Mostly likely because of my somewhat twisted childhood.  My mom loved horror shows and so i was privy to all of them. 

I think I saw Jaws around 7 years old and refused to take a bath for a year as I knew it would come up through the drain to eat me.  I cannot even attempt a swim in the ocean.  After watching "River Monsters" it is now confirmed that Bull sharks can and do exist in freshwater.  Note to self: add "scared of sharks in lakes" to neurotic list..what the hell, add rivers and pools back onto the list too....never can be too careful.

Back to Olivia...the first thing that entered my mind was "Amityville Horror"...i had flashbacks to that scene where there's a pig with red eyes in the kids window or something.  OMG, i may never sleep again (note to self: stock up on sleeping pills next time Ella is sick).
Then onto Caillou.  My first burning question...why is the 4 year old bald already?  All his little friends have hair and his sister.  And...does he ever eat anything healthy?  It was pancakes for breakfast and kd for lunch.  In closing, if i were his mom i think he'd spend a good portion of the show in time out.

Saved the best for last...The Wiggles.  Although I appreciate that there are grown men out there willing to bounce around in tights singing songs to entertain still kinda weirds me out.  Yet another reason to visit my therapist next week.

With all that said, i am even more disturbed to find myself actually zoned out watching these shows in anticipation to see whether the "rhea" (which i now know is a large bird) falls off the cliff because the coo coo birds are teasing it, or if Diego and his rescue pack actually save it.

Please Ella, feel better tomorrow...or Mommy will sink to a whole new level which may or may not require meds.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Emails from Ella... #2

Hello all...

Ella here, reporting on week 6.  I like being 6 weeks!  Gramma came over the other day to visit me and I made sure I pulled my high maintenance routine. 

Mommy has being trying to keep me in my straightjacket (aka swaddling blanket... this term was clearly invented by the retailers in order to soften its concept to the general public)  lately at night, but i've figured out how to strategically work my arms out...then i just cry until she takes me out.  What a pushover....pppfffftt.

Daddy's even worse, I burp and he goes's like he's never heard a burp before.  I get all this "good girl!  that's my Ella!"  I wonder if i should tell him it's all a ploy for praise? 

Mommy introduced me to the mirror the other day.  I love it...i love me.  I'm super adorable.  Aunty Berks bought me a cool tie dye shirt from Berkeley and I love it!  I look super great in it, makes my chub look thinner.  My favorite toy so far is from Aunty's this crazy horse thing...i drool as soon as it comes near me.  Who wouldn't?

 Well, that's my report for now, ttfn!
 Miss Ella

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Crafty Mama:How to make a box playhouse

One of my fab friends had us over the other day and they had a playhouse, which Ella absolutely adored.   So, i started the search for the perfect playhouse.

Unfortunately, the one I wanted, was $350 online! Yikes!  Here's a pic of the one online:

Time to whip out the glue gun i guess!

Type A crafty Mama's steps to making a girly playhouse:

What you'll need and costs:
1. Wine...any kind, color or price will do. The higher the alcohol percentage the better your box playhouse will look.
2 large box (so free) and a large peice of cardboard for roof (more free, yay);
3. Fabric, enough to cover inside and outside of box ($15 for 3 pink gingham showercurtains off craigslist)
4. Glue...a LOT of glue (a large bottle 16 oz is about $6 at Walmart). I like Arlene's, way better than average white glue (more stickier as my friend Bri would say);
5. Duct tape, don't buy the cheap kind like I did (about $5 at Walmart);
6. Kraft dinner box (wooohooo KD for lunch) yet another free box;
7. More fabric for curtains (you can use old tableclothes, pillowcases, whatever or visit the Thrift shop. I cut up an old bedskirt)
8. Ribbon (i just used what I had around house)
9. Fake flowers (I had some, but Thrift stores have tons or Walmart)
10. Brown felt, light brown and dark brown are cute together but you can use one color. Or use fabric, no biggie at all.  Cost is about $10 for a yard (i got 2 yards on sale 1/2 price);
11. Old sheet, fabric, towel whatever for the floor (freeeeee);
12.  White paint (craft paint at Walmart is about $2);
13.  Wine, any kind.


1. Ensure wine is close at far so good;
2. Cut your cardboard peice to fit the box and bend in half
3. Use massive amounts of duct tape to secure to box roof;
4. Use colored felt marker to outline your doors and windows (i used a peice of paper for window outline. I also made sure to centre the doorway;
5. Cut out windows and door;

Ok!  We have the basic playhouse, now for the fun part, DECORATING IT!
4. Measure your box sides and ceiling;
5. Have huge gulp of wine;
6. Cut your fabric to fit (plllleassse don't worry if you overlap, it so doesn't matter, I cut and pasted fabric inside and it looks just fine);
7. For the roof,  I made a cardboard form for the shingles and just outlined a whole bunch of peices with a marker then cut them all out;
8.  Start at bottom and place shingles left to right with shingles and overlap sides a bit;
9.  When you start the next row, make sure to overlap 1st shingle row as well;
10. For the peak, place shingles left to right, then right to left until they come together in the middle.  Then use an oval shingle in the middle

8.  Raid cupboard for cookies, chocolate you've hidden from husband or some kind of sugar based food (chips count);
9. Wash junk food down with wine..ok, good to go, let's continue;
10.  For the floor, I used an old foam baby play mat for padding and covered it with a pink crib sheet;
11. Cut Kraft dinner box in half and paint white;
12. Wooohoooo GLUE GUN TIME! Celebrate with wine;
13.  Glue your flowers into the KD box and then glue box under windowsill;

14.  Cut your curtain fabric to size and glue over windows and doors (i glued fabric onto a peice of cardboard then glued cardboard onto inside of house);
15.  Glue ribbon onto side of house and tie back curtains;
16.  Ignore husband asking "What's for dinner" (if he persists, advise Domino's Pizza is speed dial #9);
17.  Sit back and enjoy your fancy schmancy new playhouse (I also advise making a sign that says "The lights are on but nobody's home" for new Moms such as myself...just a suggestion.


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Bats don't dig pink

Woke up this morning with turkey flu or some godforsaken virus from east asia or something.  Open the front door to retrieve my mail (aka bills and trashy mags) and....

OMG THERE'S A BAT NEXT TO MY MAILBOX!! EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!! How exactly does one move a bat without having it get all "flap flap flap bite" on me?

Strategy 1.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I tried to swat it and it moved it's wing...eewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....shiver shiver.....

Girlie friends advised me that swatting is animal cruelty...note to self...if i catch bat consider putting near their hair then see how PETA they are....

Strategy 2.  OMG! Ok, throwing a wet balled up kleenex at bat had no effect, i'm running out of reasonable solutions here..

Strategy 3. Just asked the flying rodent to please leave, it moved it's wing...can't type anymore...fainting.

Strategy 4.  Got brave girlie friend Lisa to come over...she videotaped it and put on utube...My bat is a star..hmmmm I am still grossed out...and it's still there...

Strategy 5.  K,...i need to rethink my approach.. Perhaps a friendship initiative?? Baking some cookies, will put in cute pink packaging and leave by said bat as peace token...stay tuned
Girlie friend has advised bats are blind, therefore, cute pink packaged cookies won't do the trick.  Damn blind bats...what the hell do i do now?  Palms are sweaty as I watch it's ear twitch....bllllecckkkyyyyy

Situation Resolved:  husband took 20 foot stick and knocked it gently off fell on porch still in coma state, i screamed (high voice scream much like B movie star would emit). Bat reached out a wing but didn't move much, Husband gently got bat on shovel and relocated to bushes. Valium is being administered as we me, not bat.


Friday, February 11, 2011

I now have cheerios in my purse instead of lip gloss....

5 things in my purse before I had a baby

1. the latest super fun lipgloss
2. a shiny purple compact with mirror
3. mints in a tin that says “sassy”
4. business cards in a case with "ooh la la" and a poodle on the cover
5. cute pink printed Kleenex with “diva” printed on them

5 things in my purse after I had a baby

1. Cheerios, god love them
2. wet wipes in a scrunched up ziploc bag
3. wad of kleenex (which may or may not have baby snot on it)
4. blistex because every inch of my body is dry and cracked now for some godforsaken reason
5. hand creme….ditto….

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Emails from Ella....#1

May 1 2009

Hello all...

OK, I'm born...let's get down to business.  Mommy is pretty much a mess right now (pill popping mostly) so i'm having to entertain myself.  Which includes: 

a.  mastering the art of smelly pooping;  I like to watch Dada gag when he changes my diapers....
b.  eating more than my birth weight;
c.  getting Mommy to read many books on sleep techniques then proving them all to be total crap.

What a riot!  Anywho, I've decided that I need more of a challenge, soooo i'm becoming a writer.  This will be my first career in a long line of Type A baby driver careers.  So, sit back, relax and watch out for "Letters from Ella".

Consider yourself warned.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I always knew I had the crazies...

Hello Girlies,

I've always been extremely comfortable vacationing from time to time in Crazyville.  I treated my crazies as the gift it was....with it came creativity, a drive to succeed and a tad of outrageousness that people seemed to appreciate.  Most of my antics resulted from my Type A Driver personality and my ridiculous workaholic tendencies which often left me anxiety ridden and perfection driven.

When I had my daughter, I felt a shift in the crazy force...I had wondered if it would disappear seeing that I wasn't going to be working and all.  Nope!  It transferred over to my new career....mommyhood. Add to that complete sleep deprivation and wooo freeken hooo, here we go!

Now that I look back I can see more clearly how loop de loop I went, however, at the time, I insisted I was completely sane.  An example sil vous plait?....

The hubby and I were running a couple errands and he parked in a huge almost empy (like 5 cars) lot accross from the baby store so that I could breastfeed in semi-private.  When I was finished Dave wanted to slowly drive the car closer to the store entrance (like drive 2 miles an hour accross 4 parking stalls with zippo cars even close to us).

He, clearly not being completed settled into my new crazy state yet, suggested I hold onto the baby instead of putting her in the carseat.

I absolutely lost my went something like this "Are you &**%$$# crazy!  What the hell would happen if an asteriod came crashing down and hit the car and Ella flew out of my arms.  Who'd be sorry then!"  Perhaps if my therapist had been there she would have offered me a xanax right then and there.  No such luck.
Anywho,  so begins the crazies of mommyhood, and my first post.

Stay tuned,