Saturday, February 26, 2011

Stories from a Type A Neurotic Mama: the Wiggles

Cartoons are freaking me out...Ella has been sick now for 3 days and all she wants to do is cuddle and watch cartoons. we go. Being a newish Mommy who hasn't watched cartoons since she was a little girl( and at that time it was The Schmoo, smurfs and Scooby Doo...I know...oooo  sooo racy) was not prepared for what I was about to see.

We started the morning with Olivia...a pig who walks on 2 hooves, wears socks and a red dress...immediate creep out.  Mostly likely because of my somewhat twisted childhood.  My mom loved horror shows and so i was privy to all of them. 

I think I saw Jaws around 7 years old and refused to take a bath for a year as I knew it would come up through the drain to eat me.  I cannot even attempt a swim in the ocean.  After watching "River Monsters" it is now confirmed that Bull sharks can and do exist in freshwater.  Note to self: add "scared of sharks in lakes" to neurotic list..what the hell, add rivers and pools back onto the list too....never can be too careful.

Back to Olivia...the first thing that entered my mind was "Amityville Horror"...i had flashbacks to that scene where there's a pig with red eyes in the kids window or something.  OMG, i may never sleep again (note to self: stock up on sleeping pills next time Ella is sick).
Then onto Caillou.  My first burning question...why is the 4 year old bald already?  All his little friends have hair and his sister.  And...does he ever eat anything healthy?  It was pancakes for breakfast and kd for lunch.  In closing, if i were his mom i think he'd spend a good portion of the show in time out.

Saved the best for last...The Wiggles.  Although I appreciate that there are grown men out there willing to bounce around in tights singing songs to entertain still kinda weirds me out.  Yet another reason to visit my therapist next week.

With all that said, i am even more disturbed to find myself actually zoned out watching these shows in anticipation to see whether the "rhea" (which i now know is a large bird) falls off the cliff because the coo coo birds are teasing it, or if Diego and his rescue pack actually save it.

Please Ella, feel better tomorrow...or Mommy will sink to a whole new level which may or may not require meds.


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